*** Bill *** Day 5 (to John and large audience, including Jack)
HR told me today that the reason I didn't get the $6.80 per hour job is the interviewer felt that I have a "chip on my shoulder". I suspect that this is the actual reason that the front desk manager at the Resort decided to let me go (though she did not have the courage to come right out and say so - she would have been showing her paranoia). I'm not sure what to do about this. The reasons for my bitterness are obvious and natural, given all that has happened to me and the huge lack of family support and lack of caring from everyone around me. The solution is also obvious to me...lots of people being really nice and compassionate toward me for a sustained period of time (my attitude would improve enormously at the mere prospect that others were finally treating me with kindness and fairness and Christian love).
But equally obvious is the fact that I can't make others do anything, much less the right thing. I am totally convinced that my father is totally clueless on how to be like this to me, so I have to ask myself "if my own father won't treat me with love and caring and support, how can I expect anyone else to do so"?
I have often felt that others were acting unnecessarily timid and even fearful of me (note that I have no record of violent acts or even threatening acts). My motto is "if you are nice to me, I will be nice to you". Actually, I live by the Golden Rule at all times. But as I said, I also have an extremely heavy burden to carry around, so it is no surprise that it shows. It is only a surprise that no one tries to understand.
In any case, I think I need to seek self-employment that will allow me to prosper while not showing the "chip on my shoulder". That is, unless and until others make a practice of treating me with love and kindness (consistently).
I look forward to your suggestions, except that to suggest that I simply "get over it" is unrealistic and unwelcome and simply not going to happen. I assure you that none of you would be able to do so in my shoes... none of you.
But equally obvious is the fact that I can't make others do anything, much less the right thing. I am totally convinced that my father is totally clueless on how to be like this to me, so I have to ask myself "if my own father won't treat me with love and caring and support, how can I expect anyone else to do so"?
I have often felt that others were acting unnecessarily timid and even fearful of me (note that I have no record of violent acts or even threatening acts). My motto is "if you are nice to me, I will be nice to you". Actually, I live by the Golden Rule at all times. But as I said, I also have an extremely heavy burden to carry around, so it is no surprise that it shows. It is only a surprise that no one tries to understand.
In any case, I think I need to seek self-employment that will allow me to prosper while not showing the "chip on my shoulder". That is, unless and until others make a practice of treating me with love and kindness (consistently).
I look forward to your suggestions, except that to suggest that I simply "get over it" is unrealistic and unwelcome and simply not going to happen. I assure you that none of you would be able to do so in my shoes... none of you.
posted by Yojay at 9:39 PM
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